Serve like a stoic

Stoicism is a two-thousand year old philosophical way of life. It gives us valuable lessons that humankind could still do with learning, and it is based around four key virtues. In the following I may have taken a liberty or two at framing these, but what I know is that I find stoicism to be a deeply helpful reference point for decisions and living generally. 

Looking at the past gives us a great insight into the constancy of the human condition. We may have had incredible scientific and technological advances but ancient wisdom remains ever valuable because human foibles are pretty consistent. The stoics still have a lot to teach us. 

In the social sector these human foibles can easily be experienced, we operate in difficult conditions, driven by the desire to effect social change and help others with limited resources. What better place to test our patience, to become impacted by secondary traumatic stress, to struggle to deal with stakeholders unrealistic expectations, the constant flux and shifting sands. We are besieged by the constant drive to innovation, funding uncertainty and those who are multiply disadvantaged need our help. We have a definite need for some stoicism. Many of us are naturally very stoical, but it never hurts to be conscious of how that is going. 

Here’s how you can use the 4 virtues of stoicism to develop your social leadership:

1. Compete and compare less

“Away with the world’s opinion of you – it’s always unsettled...” –Seneca, Letter XXVI

The stoics first virtue is that of prudence (wisdom) and as social leaders we can be wise about the system in which we operate and how that is shaped and formed (as opposed to just accepting it as the way). 

Neo-liberal economics have driven competition into the heart of the social sector and there is no greater barrier to collaboration. Competition doesn’t belong in the helping professions. We all have to be mindful of what the drive to compete does to our core mission and how it brings out its evil twin, comparison. 

Part of our stoic wisdom should be to always check the tendency to compare ourselves, our organisations and our abilities with others. We should be mindful of the desire to ‘perform’ for funders rather than to learn about what works in order to inform them. If we are comparing and getting caught in the melee of those that do play the performance game, we lose sight of the task, the people we exist to help. 

Competing and comparing is a vanity and it affects the self-esteem of you, the team and the organisation. It’s tough to notice and reduce this tendency, but recognising and reducing it means that you will have more energy, confidence and determination to serve your community. It means you shift focus to where it should be - those that need us. 

So, work openly and collaboratively with others, no matter the competitive threat, check your protectionism, tell the negative thoughts to move along, and practice knowing your worth. Focus on the journey, not on the destination and just know that in this way you will stay on task. 

Being driven less by competitive instincts and more by our knowledge and learning will help us to develop more helpfully, see more clearly, be less fuelled by ego, and focus more on our mission. The stoics knew this, and given that it ensures that our clients are the key focus of our efforts, it has to be wise. 

2. Relinquish control

‘’The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.’’ Epictetus

Stoics believed in the virtue of justice (morality) and everything we do in the sector is based on the need for human justice – equality, inclusion, community. Each day can be an endless battle for what is just and the amount of injustice in the world leaves us feeling as though we have no control over the circumstances of the communities we strive to support. 

The stoics knew that there are very few things in life that we can control, and we need to recognise that the urge to control is our innate desire to manage outcomes. The reality is that outcomes cannot be managed, they can only be sought. The desire to control creates an inflexibility, a rigidity, that is tense and painful. It fuels disappointment, feelings of failure when things don’t go well. We can set things up to run as effectively as possible, we can ensure we have the knowledge we need, we can create an excellent team dynamic, we can share a vision and strive together towards it and we can ensure that we have right-minded attitudes, we can also ensure a focus on feeding back and advocating, but we also have to know that along the way we will need to bend, adapt and do the best we can. We set up the space for the best to happen, but we roll with it if it doesn’t happen. 

The reality is that everything is always in flux so we must learn to adapt, evolve and flex ourselves through the journey. The reality is that we do make change, we do gain justice, but very often it is incremental. In learning how to let go without giving up, we will feel a release of unhelpful tension and the powerful benefit this has for us individually and consequently  for our social leadership. This in turn will allow us to navigate towards justice in a way the system can absorb, because inflexible behaviours are more likely to elicit resistance than change. 

3. Be courageous, not fearful

‘’He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary’’ Seneca

Having fortitude (courage) and living life courageously was key for stoical thinkers. It is a life that confronts the fear of what might be and tempers it with the understanding that we cannot control those things that are outside our power. We cannot allow fear to get the better of us because it will prevent us from taking action. 

As social leaders we can think about this in so many ways. 

Am I having the conversation that I need to have with my client/ boss/ colleague? 

Am I speaking truth to power or worrying what they could do if I do that?

Am I able to understand that as long as I am doing the best I can I cannot be expected to do any more?

Can I be kindly honest with myself about the things I can learn/ do better?

When we are inhibited by fears we can be really good at convincing ourselves out of action, especially when it involves a challenging conversation. When we are afraid of not being good enough we can find being honest with ourselves about imperfections, things we mess up becomes difficult. When we have courage we can assess how things have gone, and analyse our motivations. We can say and do what we need to, we can be secure in our vulnerability. We can be radically candid with ourselves and observe the ways in which we avoid fears. Courage is an admirable quality, one that often gets muddled with anger and confrontation in the social sector. As social leaders, who are values led, we don’t need to be angry, we have virtue on our side. 

4. You’ll make space

 “Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly.” Marcus Aurelius

Temperance (or moderation) is a virtue we can apply to our leadership to ensure that we look after ourselves whilst giving so much.  Taking care of ourselves doesn’t fit with the cult of busy we exist in, and certainly not with the prevailing martyrdom that grows from the stress in our sector. Whilst we are careering from pillar to post, neglecting our self-care and functioning on stress hormones we fail to moderate, to make space, valuable time that actually makes us better at what we do. 

Stoics value each present moment, they know that it is all we truly have. They apply temperance to each moment in succession so that every one of them is as valuable to us as it can be.  In doing so they can build in the virtues required to live stoically in such a way as to maintain their ability to progress fruitfully. Stoics moderate their activity, they slow down, they give their body-mind the space to function, they are thoughtful. We cannot achieve this if we are stuck on the hamster wheel.  

By tempering the tendency to overwhelm we can observe the ways that we can care for ourselves for our own good and the good of our society. Being attentive to tempering our wants, making sure we get what we need and observing the time-wasting aspects of this modern life, of comparing and competing, of spending time on the trivial rather than taking care of ourselves. In tempering we become present, we put down the mobile phone more often, we have periods of silence, we walk, let the brain cool off, we allow spontaneous reflection, we eat well, just be. In the space that you make for being, you will find creativity and a better  energy. You will find that you learn new ways of doing things instead of being stuck doing the same old thing. You will feel better, you will serve better, you will serve like a stoic.